Finding Meaning Within Suffering

Suffering comes in many forms and is always challenging. As we all know, suffering is also a part of life; however, how we respond to suffering can greatly shift our satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Our brains are pre-programmed to try to get rid of suffering as soon as possible, regardless of the costs. We typically have two main responses:

• We obey the suffering: “woe is me,” “this is the worst thing ever,” “I can’t do anything” or

• We struggle against it: “I shouldn’t feel this way,” “I can push through this,” “other people have it worse than me”

The downsides of these initial responses are the exhaustion, pressure, and excess stress they put on us because they are inevitably unsuccessful at getting rid of the suffering. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve desperately tried to “just suck it up” when I’m feeling anxious, only to have the anxiety become more intense.

You might be thinking, “Great, what am I supposed to do now?”.

The answer comes in the form of acceptance. I want to redefine what that means though. Acceptance is not just tolerating the suffering, or just sitting with it, or white-knuckling your way through it, or even forcing yourself to enjoy the process. True acceptance is

choosing to allow the suffering to be there while moving towards what’s important or meaningful. I’ll be the first one to admit, THIS IS HARD! During this time of Lent, though, we have a perfect example of what acceptance looks like: Jesus’ journey to crucifixion.

Jesus knew the suffering He was going to endure. He knew how painful it was going to be. Even before His Passion, Jesus asked for another way - He didn’t want the suffering that was going to come (Matthew 26:42). Jesus, however, trusted that God would follow through on His promises of making meaning out of his suffering. Because of this, Jesus, in His full humanness, accepted the suffering coming His way. Through this acceptance, He continued to be authentic to Himself. He met with His Mother, He allowed for help along the way (Simon of Cyrene & St. Veronica), He showed compassion & mercy to the thief on the cross (Luke 23:43). Jesus did what was important to Him amidst the suffering. Jesus also didn’t just try to pretend He was okay - He fell three times! 

Taking Jesus’ example, how can you acknowledge the suffering in your life, allow it to be there, and continue to do what matters? In this process, how can you ask for help, seek guidance from God, and allow yourself to be human & imperfect along the way? If you’re thinking this is an impossible task and maybe curious about how this works, then you’re in good company! Here at Grace & Nature Group, one of the other counselors or I would love to talk with you more about how to help you manage the suffering in your life and move towards what’s meaningful!

• Painting: Jesus Meets His Mother Mary - Joszef Janssens